Breaking the holding pattern

My email refreshed to show a new email. One about Melody Meckfessel. I read it, absorbing the import of the work she did for Google. I enjoyed reading it and as I do when I like something, I shared it. It also made for a short, interesting conversation with Saathi.

The window outside my room suddenly brightened and I felt rather than saw the Sun move out from behind the clouds. I stopped whatever I was working on to go stand by the window and stare at the woods behind my home. I stared at the horizon not really seeing anything.

It struck me then. My life had been in a holding pattern for a good seven plus years. Building a family consumed me. My interest in general affairs, world news, technology abated. I stopped being current. It seemed like nothing mattered anymore.

I watched the grass move as an invisible breeze passed. Snapping out of my reverie, I returned to my desk. I can see parts of me that I had suppressed start to emerge. I have been checking out books from my local library for a few months now. Something I haven’t done in years. I reach for the eclectic ones rather than the authors I know and like. I consider joining Toastmasters. Public speaking and debates are something I used to enjoy many years ago.

I am back at my desk and poring over code. The inertia from the past couple of years seems to be shaking. Perhaps it is the break in between projects but when I work on something now, it feels interesting.

It is like the dead parts of me are stirring, struggling to shake off the malaise and make their presence felt. I can sense a new phase of my life starting and that makes me feel happy.

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