A flippant email exchange at work set me thinking. She wanted to go back to school and enhance her skill sets. I wanted to borrow myself deep in whatever it was I was doing and actually own something for a change.
This change has been a decade in coming. I started out aspiring for the skies. Or it seemed like the manager’s cabin was the sky. A decade and kids later, all I want is set work hours, decent pay and a chance to smell the roses.
The two years since I became a mother has redefined me and my priorities. First I wanted to slow down. Then I wanted a break. Now I want to work. I want to make money. The priorities keep shuffling and juggling and moving. Perhaps in a year or more it will slowly settle into place allowing me to chart a course forward?
I look back on the long conversations with friends where we danced around the bush refusing to call a spade a spade. We talked about career choices, about career paths, about plans and elaborate strategies to forge ahead. What we left unsaid and the mute voice inside me screamed was $$$$.
It was and has always been about the $$$. It seems to me that I finally have woken up and smelt the garden at my feet. It never has been about shattering that illusory glass ceiling. It has been about making the maximum amount of money for the minimum amount of work. Now that I have actually said it aloud, it has set me free. Free to pursue opportunities in that sheer pursuit of the greenback. Free to hold fast to the domain that I once feared for there lay the goose that laid golden eggs.
Ironical as it seems, my professional life may finally be a walk in the park?