Letters to my daughters – You make me a better person.

Dearest Kay and Cee,

We live in tumultuous times. Scan the newspaper, watch the news and it seems like heartwarming stories are few and far in between. We are reminded time and again how driven by narrow agendas and greed we are as a nation and as a people. I am pretty sure parents of every generation felt this way about the world they lived in. Yet we go on. Hoping for a better tomorrow than we found ourselves in today.

This past week, I was at the intersection and saw blue electric fire crackling on top of a power pole. Usually I would have given it a second look, convinced myself somebody else would have reported it and drove on. Somehow, having you both in my life has made me more empathetic, more vulnerable to what could be and I stopped and dutifully reported the incident to 911 before I drove on. Becoming your mother has made me more open to realizing there is more to life than after I pass. You both will still be around while I am not. It pushes me to be kinder, more involved and more believing of the fact that my actions impact the world I will leave you with.

From a skeptic who didn’t think much about throwing that empty glass jar and banana peel in the same trash bin, I now take a moment to wonder if something can be recycled, reused or returned to the earth in a harmless way. I am just a newbie on this path. I have ways to go before I feel I have done all I can to help. For someone who hated hand me downs growing up, I am shameless about asking for outgrown Halloween clothes or reusing the ones we got for you the year before. I know this may not work as you grow up and realize what I am doing. What is important though for me is to make sure your Appa and I instill in you a sense of respect for the earth we inhabit and tenderness for all creatures that surround us.

Yes. Being a mother does that to me. It makes me feel all mellow and capable of changing the world. One step at a time.

In love with being your Amma,

Amma.

6 comments

  1. Absolutely..! That has been one of my favorite things about being a mommy – I am constantly trying to make changes , changes that are genuine and from within, be honest with myself, become more aware of my strengths and weaknesses, make sincere efforts, and in the process become a better me.

    Note: I am commenting here after a long time on a whim, but see that you have replied to your comments. May be I will get regular about commenting too.

    • Suman, the luxury of having an extra day off. 🙂 More often than not, responding to comments took a backseat to actually posting something on the blog this past year. I hope over the long term, I can get back to what I started this blog as. A place to muse and interact with people who stop by.

  2. Simialr thoughts here..however, I doubt whether I became a better person.

    One of the images of my mom which always stays with me is…as you know I grew up in kerala village. the road to school is kind of kacha. with every rain and storm tree branches/coconut tree barnches all fall on to the road..mommy n her way to school ( with her saree pulled up a bit with one hand) always made sure she moved those fallen branches to the side so the school going kids don’t topple on them ( vehicles-minimal- can pass smoohtly). ofcourse there was no recycling like we do that in rural life. I always wonder will my kind have any such image of me doing things consciously..i seriously doubt my motherhood capabilities Laksh.. it’s darn serious responsibility we took up and I fear the failure…

  3. Motherhood is a serious responsibility. I believe that being honest and open with your kids is the starting point. I can claim I am trying to be that. I will not be the parent who tries to fake things and gives false advises – being on a pedestal and not going to their level. I only say what I learnt from my experience and firmly believe in. But I fail in feeling the exact same feeling my kids have and end up being a mom and not a kid along with them.

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