Whither friendship?

This past weekend amidst other things, each time I logged into FB, I saw a spate of “Happy Friendship day!” messages. Each time I smiled without fail. A trace of sarcasm escaping with the smile. Then the work week happened and a friend of mine said something along similar lines over email. That got me taking stock of where that thing called friendship slowly disappeared from my life.

There was a time when I browsed the racks of my nearby greeting card shop trying to find the perfect card for the people who meant a lot to me. I would weigh one card over another trying to find the words that expressed exactly how I felt about them.The kind of friends you roamed M.G road with. The kind of friends who shared email passwords and ATM cards with. The kinds that did not leave your side the entire three days of your wedding. Years passed and traditional cards made way to e-cards, emails and then that faded into silence.

Was it because life took over? Was it because I prioritized husband and kids over friends? Was it because my definition of friends changed over time? Is it because friendship is overrated?

The questions kind of sit at the edge of consciousness not at all intruding into the area of my brain that would itch for answers. Perhaps this is what growing up means. Finding weightier things to chew on. Understanding that relationships are all spread on a scale and time and distance are bigger factors than I gave credit for?

It is not that I don’t have friends or do not feel strongly about them. It just seems to be lately that I have sort of taken them for granted. Like family or God. Expecting them to be there when I need them. Expecting them to know that they are loved and in my thoughts even when there are no mushy cards waiting in their mailboxes on the first Sunday of August.Perhaps like all other commercial holidays, friendship days seems to be more bark than bite?

5 comments

  1. May be because, you have finally grown up 🙂 I think looking at cards and finding that perfect card (or even personalizing it), while is very nice, innocent and all that, it is also because we are naive and think our friends are our world and there is nothing more to it than that. I think, after that phase, life happens and then you realize those cards and gifts, while very worthy and thoughtful, are meaningless compared to spending an evening with a friend when he/she has had a personal loss or talking to them over phone – due to the long distance & sometimes, multiple oceans that come between you – when they are going through a rough patch and that is what counts at the end of the day. I don’t care if you wish me friendship day or not, sent me a bday card or not, but I care and cherish that you are there when I need you, just a phone call away and no matter how crazy things are at your end, if you know I need you, will t(m)ake time to talk to me and cheer me up. And I think, that’s what truly matters!

    My 2 cents as someone who has shared countless walks on MG Road, shared emails, passwords of every kind, bike rides, train rides and what not, with you!

  2. All these days like mothers day, father day , friendshiP day etc are all the makings of retail industry to make profit and not for expressing true emotions.

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