Mulling over a few different thoughts in my head, I debated between taking up this tag that is doing its rounds on the internet and writing about this interview I heard today on NPR. After deleting two drafts of the latter since I could not get my thoughts together cogently, I figured I would take a shot at the former. Hmm! since the girls came into our lives, I have been discovering sides to me I did not know existed.
Appreciation: I seem much more appreciative of choices that other moms make whether or not I agree with them. I understand now what it is like to be in those shoes making those decisions. I realize not one of these decisions are easy. Case in point working vs staying home. While before the girls I was dismissive in a not-conscious way, these days I really get it. While I struggle with my decision to work, I understand why others might struggle with staying home.
Nurturing: I never understood why making food and feeding are such primal needs till I held my child in my hands and attempted to feed a bottle. Whether or not she drank her milk set the tone for the rest of the day. In the past year, if there was one thing that pushed me to wake up before the alarm rang it was the fact that I wanted to make food for my daughters.
Community: Bittersweet as it feels, I realize I am able to cross invisible lines and breach racial lines because of the fact I am a mom now. Children and issues surrounding raising children seem to be universal. Whether it is discussing sleep patterns or what to do when nose bleeds strike, I find myself opening up and trusting what the wise community of women world over have to say.
Philosophical: I have always been introspective and have loved questioning the status quo. For the first time in my life, all that rumination is having an effect. These days when I question the worth of what I do, I realize I am now weighing material success and happiness with very different parameters. The needs of my children tip the balance.
Happiness: “Amma, Are you OK?” or the unprompted hugs and kisses are enough to keep me high for the rest of the day. It is not without reason I seem to be smiling a lot more ever since the girls entered my life. Happiness seems to be the predominant feeling and I have motherhood to thank for it.
Am sure if I ponder long enough, there will be other tangible and intangible ways that the girls have changed me for the better. So, if you have been touched by a child, how has it affected your life? Do tell.