Showered and ready, I watched K brush Cee’s teeth this morning and felt a rush of affection. The kind that bowls you over and makes you weak-kneed. Feeling light and happy I skipped out the door and started my car. In the hour-long drive to work, I went back to the days pre-babies. I have often asked other moms which of their babies they are partial to and almost unanimously I have gotten the clichéd “all my children are the same to me”. I have unkindly dismissed their statements saying everyone had favorites and it really was OK. May be. May be not as I discovered today.
One year back, I did have a firm favorite. Kay searched for me and I held on to her a tad longer than I did Cee. We were in the initial flush of becoming parents and much of the dynamics had to do with which child favored which parent than the other way around. One year later, I now find myself torn. I can’t seem to pick a favorite. Both are adorable. Both unique in their own way.
These days Cee waits for me by the door when I am back from work and I can see her eyes widen and an excited finger point towards me with squeals of “look! look!!”. Kay reaches for me in the dark when she is crying and buries her head in my neck when she is feeling most vulnerable. I find myself staring at their picture on my desktop lingering on each face and a smile creep into my eyes as I move from child to child.
And so I learn that parenthood means eating your words and rediscovering yourself. And kids are like apples and oranges. Not to be compared but cherished in their own right.