Into my shell

This past weekend I was part of a lovely celebration for my SIL as she celebrated her birthday. Running behind two active toddlers I was surprised by how fast time flew. Way past lunch, we finally bid byes and set out home. The girls fell asleep in minutes. K parked and stepped out to finish the weekly grocery shopping. I sat guard over the sleeping beauties and mulled over the changes in our life.

I racked my brain to remember when was the last time we had a bunch of friends over. The last time I cooked for over ten people. 2005 perhaps? In over five years, our socializing fizzled and came to a stand still. We retreated into the silence of our homes. Passed up invites and gave out none ourselves. My virtual world grew by leaps and bounds. I enjoyed the interactions from behind the anonymity of a web URL and an email id. I did not feel like I missed out on any of the fun. Till now.

As I saw my SIL laughing and basking in the glow of friendship, it hit me. The years I had lost. Memories of friendships past came rushing. The shared laughter. The whispered secrets. The hour-long phone calls. The impromptu shopping trips.

This past week I have been rueing the distance. The distances physical and mental. I stand at crossroads not knowing if and how things will change. Feels a bit like being back in school as the new girl in class. Will I make new friends I ponder? Will they like me? How do I go about making friends? Do I reach out to those who gave up on me? The questions land fast and thick. I have no answers. All I know is that I am ready. Ready to crawl out of my shell and into the sunshine.

4 thoughts on “Into my shell

  1. Good to you to be ready to come out of the shell. As your kids get older, you will certainly meet other families with kids of the same age. As your kids make friends, you will make friends too.

  2. Laksh, I was in the same boat when my LO was born atleast until 3 to 4 years after that. But now, I’m back in my circle wearing a boot of friendship. We are a group of mommies whose kids are my daughter’s friends. I still talk to my good old friends in phone but not as often as we do and not as long as we used to talk. Once your daughters growup you will find yourself bonded into a different group of friendship and that’s kind of long lasting IMHO. Until then enjoy as family 🙂


  3. I dont know what I would do without my friends and contacts. I am in touch….I get depressed when I become a loner….:-)…You do need your friends….and yeah lets hit the phone soon.

  4. Lakshmi, as a working women it is difficult to maintain big friends circle. But yes, you do need few friends whom you can trust and depend when you need them. When kids are small you will make friends with mommies from your daughters day-care or office people who have kids at same age-group. As your kids grow older your kids friendship, gender and activities(soccer, kumon..) brings new friendships.
    So M& A will bring you out your shell soon.

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