The Ugly

I often write about The Good, very rarely about The Bad and never about The Ugly of my experiences with parenting. The past three weeks have however opened my eyes to the reality that is caring for children.

One day in the past two weeks, I remember sitting in the bathroom eyes hurting, feeling rundown and overwhelmed, thinking I’d run if I heard a child cry again. The intensity of my emotion shocked and guilted me in turn. I realized it does not matter if you visited a thousand temples praying for progeny or poked yourself a hundred times over in the quest for two pink lines. The harsh reality of caring for children is that it wears you down. Yes, the awwww moments far outweigh the guilt ridden exhausted ones but the latter does exist.

With the twins taking turns with viral fever followed by a stomach bug, K and I spent the last two weeks with sleepless nights cleaning vomit sodden sheets in the middle of the night. Waking up groggy eyed, the first thing I reached for was the thermometer. Between nebulizer and fever reducer every six hours, the sight of weak, tired babies was enough to push me to the dark side.

So, when the twins bounced back to their cheery selves this week, I mentally made a note to write it down here. That parenting is not always about the sight of your daughter saying an adorably cute “Yeshh” to the annoying questions that Dora asks on TV but also about puke filled sheets, exploding diapers and snot bubbles. There is a good, bad and ugly to the holy grail – Motherhood.

Mom to three. Open adoption advocate. Writer.

19 Comment on “The Ugly

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