The Ugly

I often write about The Good, very rarely about The Bad and never about The Ugly of my experiences with parenting. The past three weeks have however opened my eyes to the reality that is caring for children.

One day in the past two weeks, I remember sitting in the bathroom eyes hurting, feeling rundown and overwhelmed, thinking I’d run if I heard a child cry again. The intensity of my emotion shocked and guilted me in turn. I realized it does not matter if you visited a thousand temples praying for progeny or poked yourself a hundred times over in the quest for two pink lines. The harsh reality of caring for children is that it wears you down. Yes, the awwww moments far outweigh the guilt ridden exhausted ones but the latter does exist.

With the twins taking turns with viral fever followed by a stomach bug, K and I spent the last two weeks with sleepless nights cleaning vomit sodden sheets in the middle of the night. Waking up groggy eyed, the first thing I reached for was the thermometer. Between nebulizer and fever reducer every six hours, the sight of weak, tired babies was enough to push me to the dark side.

So, when the twins bounced back to their cheery selves this week, I mentally made a note to write it down here. That parenting is not always about the sight of your daughter saying an adorably cute “Yeshh” to the annoying questions that Dora asks on TV but also about puke filled sheets, exploding diapers and snot bubbles. There is a good, bad and ugly to the holy grail – Motherhood.

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19 thoughts on “The Ugly

  1. its true and it happens often for me. say every night when i try to stuff some food into the baby’s moith and he spitting it all around. this after a tough day at work and surviving blr traffic 😦

  2. Remind me to bug you to publish a book someday – you write so well! As to the content, as I read somewhere, ‘parenting is always joy but not a lot of fun sometimes’ 🙂

  3. I sleep with a thermometer under my pillow still! Its tough! I am a pro now at functioning on very less sleep! I have learnt every child is different and karma comes around! My kid is a very poor sleeper and very high maintenance. the good part about that is I have realized that these are the cards I have been dealt with and there is a reason for what everyone goes through and you come out a much stronger person….and learn virtues that you didnt know existed along the way! Enjoy the ride laksh! Many folks have it worse so we are all truly blessed!

  4. Beautifully written Lakshmi 🙂 Incidentally my DD is down with a viral fever… 😦 I share the same feelings as you did a week or 2 ago.

  5. Chronic sleep deprivation is an effective torture method. Now you understand why.
    I was also thinking these past few days just how psychically grinding raising small children can be. I have three little ones and once in a while I just want them to leave my house for a few hours so I can have the place to myself. Isn’t that awful?
    But the good definitely outweighs the bad and the ugly!

  6. if there was no bad/ugly we would not know the ‘good’…it is relative..not a new theory.
    Laksh, very very beautiful and honest post. it is so true. before kids, I would puke if I see someone puke. now after many times puked over, I can carry one right after a clean up.

    wishing you all speedy recovery. Enjoy motherhood good, bad and ugly!!

    God bless

  7. Yeah! Some days the ugly gets so bad, I go on autopilot, just to avoid the thought “why did I ever have kids”…but the days ( and nights) pass, and when the usually non-sharing kid brings home a packet of chips from school “to share with Amma”, or the super-slow eater helps me make and then gobbles down her lunch with relish, I know why I became a mom 🙂

  8. Yes.

    A thousand times, yes.

    You are not alone, though. That thought alone has helped me in the darkest of moments (literally the middle of the night!).

    Beautiful and real and honest and lovely. Thank you!

  9. Glad the twins are doing good now Laksh. I second shy, if you don’t get the bad and ugly, the good will never be good enough 🙂 So enjoy the ride, bumps and everything!

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