Enjoying a rare hour of solitude this Sunday evening, I pushed back on the recliner and logged in to work mentally rueing the fact that the ability to get to work on a Sunday now feels like relaxation. Before I knew it, the hour was up and I hear the garage rattle its way open heralding the return of the kutties and K from their evening ‘park’ time. Reluctantly powering off the computer and coaxing my weary legs back to the kitchen to get dinner prepped and ready, I turned to find a beaming K and a rather smiley Kay. Leaving her on the couch with me he left to bring Cee back.
Carrying Kay on my hip, I mashed the rice, deep in thought pondering the upheaval in my life since January. “You will not believe what happened at the park today!” exclaimed K before disappearing to freshen up. I sat the girls in their high chairs and spoon fed the rice, making silly faces and feeling thrilled with my success at getting them to eat. Face freshly washed, a silly smile still plastered on his face, he went on to recount how the kutties had graduated to the unsupported swings and then in a voice bubbling with excitement and eyes wide with pride, he said Cee learnt to slide backward on the big slide. All by herself! and that’s not all Kay slid down sitting up and was mighty thrilled with herself.
As I listened to him, my focus more on his excitement and pride than the details, it occurred to me how much we had both evolved. The kutties entered into our lives and we did become parents instantaneously, but it has taken months for me to be born as a mom and K as a dad. The thrill in small achievements. The heart stopping moment as Kay tumbled down the stairs. The rush to scoop and hug them as we entered the daycare in the evening.
The visceral feeling of parenthood has taken time. Just when I think we have experienced most of what it takes to become a parent, I realize this is just the beginning. The beginning of a life that flows with the kids’ successes and ebbs when they falter.