A thread that binds

Blog hopping I landed on a post that had Steve Jobs commencement speech at Stanford. To say I loved it was an understatement. A year back, I would have read the paragraph that talks about his adoption, thought ‘neat!’ to myself and would have gone on to focus on the rest of what he said. Now when I read it, I scour the words, trying to catch undertones, hidden meanings or other symbolism in how adoption affected his life. In some strange way, it suddenly feels personal. His story.

It’s just past the six month mark since we became a family, my daughters and I. It has been a lot of learning. I realize parents are born when children come into their lives. Trying to figure out the practical aspects of having another life dependent on you for basic needs is overwhelming at times and the zenith of happiness at others. I look at our fledgling family and see that none of us are related by blood well except for the twins and it makes me smile.

When I stumble onto other people who have chosen adoption as a means to build their family, I feel a connection. Something deeper than friendship. A shared understanding of what it means to choose to bring a child into their lives in that manner. An understanding born out of filling reams of paperwork and having our personal lives laid bare to strangers for them to inspect and certify.

I realize this is something I will hold on to for life. An invisible thread that binds me and other people touched by adoption. All three sides of it. I can never again read an adoption story and feel just one emotion. There will always be a part of me wondering how this same tale will be narrated by another member of the triad.

So, if like me you land on here and walk away knowing what it feels like, know that you are not alone. We are bound by this thread.

10 comments

  1. I have not yet adopted but I hope someday I will…I may not know everything you went through but I can imagine your feelings. No words can express the emotions fully. Beautiful post as always 🙂

  2. Know what you mean! We are major Apple users (though that loyalty to design has been tested by their business practices, more and more in recent times!) and the first thing I noticed was the adoption link. Here’s to more links like these! 😀

  3. very touching post Laksh.
    And thank you for the link. His stories are incredible and the message is powerful. ‘stay hungry stay foolish’

  4. You probably know..”An understanding born out of filling reams of paperwork and having our personal lives laid bare to strangers for them to inspect and certify.” .. is so much of what we are going through right now.. to a point its turning out to be a trauma ! But we will keep the faith . Great post
    -Maggie

  5. Very nice . Thanks for the link, I knew he was adopted There was more info on itin the link.Wanted to mention Karl Rove, who used to be political advisor to President Bush was also adopted and he mentions it in his book “Courage and Consequence”

  6. Beautiful post Laksh! I know what you mean, there’s this instant connection to other adoptive parents and kids that is so beautiful and warm. I can never tire of hearing adoption stories or experiences, each is so different and yet has similar threads…I’m so glad we adopted, can’t bear to imagine what we would’ve missed if we’d listened to naysayers and our own fears.

    P.S. Never yet met the third side of the triangle, a birth mother. Or maybe I have, and didn’t know it, because she’s made invisible by our great Indian society. 😦

  7. You know Laksh when I read the first few sentences of the post, I was excited because I recently came across the speech (again) and meant to write about it at my space. If that evoke a sense of connection, I can only imagine the connection you feel with other adoptive parents!

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