A little past 8:00 PM with kids in bed, Amma and sis out for a walk and K was cutting vegetables. I stood by the sink and looked at the semi filled dishwasher and felt a wave of resentment wash over me. Suddenly everything felt old. I had this incredible urge to just throw away all the plastic. I looked around and the curtains felt too drab. Everywhere I looked I could only see chaos and a sense of disorder. And I felt incredibly tired. Bone tired.
Settling into the couch a little while later, everything seemed a little better. I knew nothing was going to change in a hurry or even in years. Every once in a while I wish I had a wand that I could wave and everything around me would be awash in newness.
I feel the urge to work on something. Physical or intangible. Work on ideas or rearrange material things to pump life into something stale. Every time the restlessness hits, I feel strangely excited. I know things around me will shake up a bit.
Am craving change. A teeny-weeny bit of change.