Craving change

A little past 8:00 PM with kids in bed, Amma and sis out for a walk and K was cutting vegetables. I stood by the sink and looked at the semi filled dishwasher and felt a wave of resentment wash over me. Suddenly everything felt old. I had this incredible urge to just throw away all the plastic. I looked around and the curtains felt too drab. Everywhere I looked I could only see chaos and a sense of disorder. And I felt incredibly tired. Bone tired.

Settling into the couch a little while later, everything seemed a little better. I knew nothing was going to change in a hurry or even in years. Every once in a while I wish I had a wand that I could wave and everything around me would be awash in newness.

I feel the urge to work on something. Physical or intangible. Work on ideas or rearrange material things to pump life into something stale. Every time the restlessness hits, I feel strangely excited. I know things around me will shake up a bit.

Am craving change. A teeny-weeny bit of change.

4 comments

  1. Just EXACTLY the way I am feeling; I have been feeling… I have no idea what to do about it. I wait for the elusive “one” thing, that will happen and that will make everything RIGHT (not that it is worng now)

    I wonder why I feel the way I feel. Nothing to indicate that I should 🙂 but then that is life, isn’t it?:)

    I not only crave, but I feel like I NEED the change 😉

  2. You shd change the drapes or re arrange furniture. trust me !! You feel a sense of happiness and newness when u enter ur home. I recently changes everything in my MBR and now I actually look forward to going to bed. Agreed, it takes time and effort to shop and get stuff. But hey, Amazon.com zindabad during lunch breaks.

  3. Just caught up with the new darlings in your life. Congratulations Mom and dad! 🙂

    You’ve probably heard it all and I admit I haven’t read every one of them, but it’s a noble and self-fulfilling to do what you did. For that I thank you and hold you in great esteem. To open hearts the way you did is what I’ve always dreamt of and hoped, but having my plate full has prevented me from taking any small step in that direction.

    Either way, my blessings and love to your family. Enjoy parenthood, nothing else comes close 🙂

    Rads

  4. I know how you are feeling Laksh. As you know that we have moved to our new place, I tried to make the best of it by donating/throwing a lot of stuff. Decluttering/re-arranging definitely rejuvenates us. So do try something every weekend. I still have to go through a lot of stuff but I’m happy that I have started the process. And these days I think a lot before buying something. Actually we are little short on space, so before buying I try to decide where the new stuff would go. If I’m not able to identify it then I don’t buy it. Wish I had this thinking a couple of years ago.

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