A little further. A little harder.

Brushing my teeth before bed, strange thoughts ran amuck in my head. I was thinking about this post I wrote a few days back. I kept coming back to the word apology. Do regrets equal apology? I did not think so. There are so many things I said or did that I regret but not necessarily feel that it warrants an apology. Many where I felt I apologized in haste and that I should have stood my ground.

That does not mean that I stop wondering about the relationships I let go of. I keep going back to the ‘what could have been’ scenarios. I wonder about the alternate paths my life could have taken. I wonder if I should have held on a little longer, pushed a little harder or walked a little further before giving up.

Trouble is I will never know. And then there are the few that I hang on to. For old times sakes. For fear of what if I regret letting go. And then I wonder if I should walk away and never turn back.

Sigh! It’s not easy being a woman.

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