Moving from the outside to the inside

“Happy First Mother’s day!” said a couple of messages on Face.book. A link to a customized video in my inbox and two round cherubic bald faces wished me first thing this morning. I have had so many thoughts run through my head in the run up to today. While I struggled to express what I felt in words, a very talented writer in adoption blogland I follow has expressed exactly the same thing in a manner that had me overwhelmed.

To those who are missing their children today; to those whose own mothers are absent in body or spirit; to those still waiting and hoping for a child to raise; to those who let go of their mothering dreams: I hope you know that you are just important and just as worthy of celebration as anyone on the “inside” this weekend. May we all be filled with peace in the present and hope for the future.Heather (Production Not Reproduction)

To me Mother’s day has always been about my mother and other mother figures in my life. Like my aunt and my grand mom. A day to remember their influence on the person I am today. There have been years when I took the day to mourn the elusive dream I was in pursuit of. The week before Mother’s day reminded me of the circle I was not part of. I was the outsider and no other day brought the focus on that void in my life like this day did.

So, this year when I moved from being the outsider to someone inside the hallowed circle, it feels wierd. It feels like I don’t really belong. Perhaps over the years it will start feeling natural but for today, my thoughts are with everyone who are mothers in spirit.

Happy Mother’s day!

6 comments

  1. Beautiful, very beautiful words from Heather.

    Like you to me Mother’s Day is about my mom and the mommy figures in my life rather than me being a mom. Happy Mother’s Day. Love in lots.

  2. Hello Lakshmi,

    I found your blog from Indian Mommies and I can proudly say I have almost finished all your archives.

    You write so well – I bet you would have heard it so many times…

    Not to sound personal (but after reading your archives non stop I feel I know you like a dear friend) I am so glad for your 2 daughters that they found you and K.

    Good luck with babies…Happy mother’s day…

    SR

  3. Belated wishes for Mother’s Day, Laksh. So true what you said…the moms who aren’t feel truly miserable on this day…I’ve been there…it’s hard to be on the outside looking in.

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