Just believe!

In the silence of the afternoon tapping on my keyboard catching up on my emails as is my habit now when the girls nap, I felt the room get chillier. Pushing off the impulse to get up and get a sweater, I kept at the computer till I crossed that break point and reluctantly closed the laptop to check on the girls and do something about the cold. Opening the coat closet to reach out for my trusty fleece, my eyes fell on two tiny pink winter coats courtesy my brother and UL. I stopped for a moment lingering to trace a finger over each.

It is moments like these that drive home how irrevocably my life has changed. Gone are the days wishing and hoping to see a tiny jacket in there. Now there are two. Every wistful sigh, every prayer, every hour I spent agonizing on my inability to procreate is now gone. Forever gone from my psyche. I am loving this feeling. A joy that comes from a wish fulfilled. A long-held dream come true. A yearning so powerful that it translated itself into reality.

As I spent the rest of my ‘me’ time hunched back at the computer before the flashing baby monitor registered baby sounds again, my mind kept going back to the image of the tiny winter coats. I replay our whole adoption journey over and over. Yes, there were compromises. There were stumbling blocks. It is very possible I could still be waiting for the mythical baby to come to us. Yet, here I am now. A stay at home mommy to two babies. If this does not tell me that there is something to ‘just believing’ what else will? All I needed to do was believe. Believe things happen for a reason. Believe my dreams will come true. Believe that this is karma. Believe that the girls were meant to be mine.

Just believe. Yes. That is my new mantra.

Just Believe.

18 comments

  1. Wow, Laksh! and what a mantra it is as you have undoubtedely proved. When my dream was fulfilled, it was the diaper bag for me as the jackets are for you. I now feel it is so corny, but yet it was that constant reminder that the dream is a reality. Enjoy this bliss, God and we all know you and K deserve it!.

    Devi

  2. Dear Lakshmi,

    A very,very nice post. You have got me big time into reading all your posts or waiting for the next one. Keep it going. All the best wishes to you and love to the kids.

  3. Hey Laksh
    Remember the posting when the adoption fell thro. the first time….always believe that God prepares you for better things..now you have double the joy..my favorite saying in the one called Footprints. Take care

  4. awww…lovely.
    enjoy your time with the little ones…they are so precious. i am happy for you-for your dreams realizing, for your hopes being fufilled!
    you will make an excellent mom-i dont know you at all but you will.

  5. hey Laksh, life is so full of such ‘little moments’ and life is worth living.
    believe, one should. to realise any dream one needs to believe. when we believe , we work for it. dream with out believing is day dreaming.

    so happy to know your angels and be part of their growing up days..though from far. enjoy girl. you and K make great parents. I was not kidding when I said, I will look upto you for parenting tips:)

    God bless your family!

  6. ‘I believe’ was the Canadian Winter Olympics team Canada song. We believed, as a nation and we did it.

    Here is our theme song; here it is for you, K and your little ones. hope you enjoy!

  7. Such a powerful message. Coming across it at the right time. Thank you.

    I have my days of immense belief and my days of feeling stupid about hoping.

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