Opening mail late last evening I found a handwritten envelope. Quickly ripping open the cover, I opened the note to see an invoice and an agreement. I scanned it and handed it over to K. On my way to work today, my mind kept replaying my action. I am not sure if it is imbibed behavior or something I must consciously unlearn. I hate money talk. Anything that forces me to ask hard questions and requires point answers, I’d rather defer to K. In many cases, I would sign on the dotted line than ask those questions.
I am not proud of my aversion to dealing with uncomfortable things. Like money. Or mortality. But sometimes it has to be done. I wonder if it is a trait I have inherited from my parents. How does one go about changing behaviors like that? Even on the days I force myself to ask those questions, I am filled with trepidation. I feel anxious till I see a reply or something reassuring me that all is well. That I have not put somebody off by those questions.
While I battle these demons within, how has your week begun?