Musings on Muses

After a panic stricken Monday when I battled my managerial accounting assignment till the submission board closed at midnight, I was tempted to take yesterday easy. Reaching home, I opted to cook fresh and while the subzi sat simmering, I picked up my MIS text and read through. Enjoying the air of superiority as I read through the material that came from years of churning out code, I was longing for a walk outside.

Dinner done, K and I headed out. Stopping to chat with our neighbors, we got introduced to a girl who was helping them take care of their kids in addition to doing her MBA. We set out as a big group laughing and chatting. Panting uphill, the girls naturally fell behind the guys and before we knew it we had quips on marriage, in laws, family, kids and the works. Nearing back home, I turned back to the new girl and apologized for going on and on about topics that would have been alien to her. She smiled and said something I forget now.

Back home, my thoughts kept going back to that girl and what she would have taken away from the evening. Would she have gone to bed thinking “what a bunch of boring old ladies!” or “wow! marriage and kids do turn people into such one dimensional creatures”? Or would it have been more on the lines of “well! its not all bad.. but I wish they would talk about other stuff too..”

As I played out different scenarios in my mind, I drifted into sleep smiling and thinking of the people who shaped my ideas about marriage and relationship. Used only to the staid and rather aloof couples in our extended family, my first brush with PDA* was at my friend’s home. She was newly married and it was refreshing to see spouses openly professing affection for each other. Perhaps it was that phase in my life when I knew I would be married anytime and I was looking at couples in my life trying to imagine how my life would change. More than the PDA, I was impressed by the respect they had for each other, the wholesome sharing of duties within the home, the way they put their individual stamp on the home in the choice of curtains, the choice of kitchen utensils, the brightly patterned sofa cushions. My mind was a sponge absorbing every little detail and drawing from my muse liberally later. Thoughts meandered to whether K had such a muse at the back of his mind when searching for a potential life partner and if so, how much that influenced his decision to spend his life with me.

While I may never really find the answers to these aimless thoughts, I do wonder if K and I ever affected anyone like that. My thoughts went back to a visitor we had last week. He was young, first time traveling to the US on work. I wondered what impression he took with him when he left us and our home. Or if it was just a girl thing or even just a ‘me’ thing, thinking and over analysing stuff.

I guess there is no point to this post really other than to ramble. Anyone else have these kind of thoughts?

*PDA: Public Display of Affection

Mom to three. Open adoption advocate. Writer.

6 Comment on “Musings on Muses

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