For the men in my life

With the alarm going off at an ungodly hour this morning, I quickly realized it was Avani Avittam aka Yajur Upakarma. The one day in the year set aside for celebrating the time tested rite of passage for men. A day for renewal and learning. I woke K up and promptly went back to sleep. An hour later resplendent in a veshti/angavastram he woke me up. As he picked up his bag containing the pancha pathram udhrini, plate, rice and fruit, I felt lousy for not having been up earlier. I rushed to smear a finger of oil in my hair parting* before he left home. As I watched his car drive away, I felt remorse.

Rushing through my morning stuff, I entered my kitchen showered and fresh. I set about making lunch. As I made a mental note to make something K likes for the evening, I wondered if I had failed in my wifely duties because I had not made the traditional lunch with vadai payasam or waited at home aarathi plate in hand to welcome the newly anointed K. Shrugging of the defeatist thoughts, I poured my energies into getting his lunch bag ready. On a last minute impulse I stuck a “Welcome” note on the door to make up for the aarathi bit.

Driving into work was a time for reflection. Avani Avittam aside, it is also Raksha Bandan. Having never really celebrated Raksha bandan in its true sense, I sent a mental wish to God to bless my brother with health and happiness. As siblings, we have never been the expressive kind. His show of affection almost always was limited to a gruff “Enna dee?” on his routine phone calls. Mine was translated to packing my love into the food I made for him every time he visited or stocking up on snacks just in case he was hungry. I also pour my love for him into the bond I have with my niece. As I walked to my cube, I realized how the non verbal cues mean so much.

So, K and B even though you already know this, here’s a shout out. I love you both and am very thankful to have you both in my life.

*the oil bit is a hangover from my mom impressing on me over the past three decades never to apply oil and have a shower after hubby leaves home. Guess it is a spillover from the umpteen rituals that follow a person’s death. This is a topic for a whole another post.

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7 thoughts on “For the men in my life

  1. Happy Avani Avittam and RakshaBandhan to you too! 😀
    Well, my day was not that good since bro wasn’t here. He is in Bangalore right now. Mom had to leave for work, so i took the aarathi for dad. We had vadai and payasam too! Yum. 😉
    Thanks to your blogs, there is finally someone who can explain these rituals. Waiting for your blog with that asterisk topic.

  2. Ditto, Nice to see you back Laksh. I for sure missed your entries. Reading this entry brought back memories too. Isn’t it funny how all our festivals revolves around the food. 🙂

    Devi

  3. Happy Avani Avittam and RakshaBandhan to you and K. Very nice and neat post as always.
    For me the day was quite good and I had prepared vadai, payasam and poli after 5 years of our marriage 🙂 Thankfully S and FIL enjoyed it.

  4. @Shalu: Thank you! Heard your bro had a good time. Perhaps you can tie a belated rakhi when he is back? Asterisk topic is for another day. 🙂
    @Anila: Thank you. Am sure K appreciates your wish.
    @Gayathri/Mads: Thank you!
    @Devi: Absolutely. In fact but for festivals a lot of these ethnic dishes will die out.
    @Abi: Kalaki podare! Perhaps you can make poli when we visit you next month. 🙂

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