I remember you today Appa

Done talking with my FIL, K turned on the TV. In over one hour of programming we were exposed to a slew of ads for Father’s day. My mind travelled years back in time. With no special day to remember dads or make them feel special. I hope you knew you were always special. You were my pet. If that makes any sense. I loved you, adored you and looked up to you. In job interviews and personality development sessions when the questions about leaders or inspirational people arise, my thoughts always go to you. For me, you stand right up there with the leaders of the world. You taught me all there is to know about ethics and honesty, about equality and compassion, about empathy and listening.

Each day as you came back from a gruelling day at work, I watched you listen to Amma as she vented her frustrations. I sat content at your feet while you stroked my head and watched TV. I loved it when you asked me to make ‘sottu kaapi’ before you called it a day. I was proud when you visited me in that tiny apartment I call my first home and I made macaroni for you and served it with ketchup. I loved you for it when you finished it without a word and asked for more. I cherish the memories of you and me going shopping a long time back to get a dress for my sister for her birthday. I remember picking a solid lilac colored boring dress and you agreeing with me that it was smart. It was fun going home and listening to Amma pick it apart as a team. Us versus her.

I remember you trusting me with princely sums of money as I lived away from home and never once asking me how I spent it or why. I remember you tirelessly calling random people in the quest for a perfect son in law. I cherish how you never once took me to task after calling off a marriage that was doomed from the start. I love you for patiently and silently standing by my side as I went through teenage angst and a rebellious streak. I remember you leaning back with my weight on a bundle of sticks refusing to sit on a chair as you wanted your daughter’s marriage to be perfect. I remember fondly your pot belly and your incessant ‘walks’ around the house hands behind your back.

I smile looking at the picture in front of me as you watch over me from above. It has been three years almost and not a day passes without you crossing my thoughts. Father’s day is not for me. Every day has been and will be special for me because of you. I love you and miss you Appa.

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15 thoughts on “I remember you today Appa

  1. Such wonderful memories and very well expressed, heartfelt and genuine. Makes you think of how short life is and that we should always take each opportunity to tell the people we love how much they mean to us.

  2. @Kiran: Absolutely. Exactly the reason why I bare my soul online about the people I care. I know it sounds corny but that is how I feel.

  3. This is so touching, Laksh, thanks for sharing. I am amazed at the all the minute details of his memory you carry and cherish, it is so beautiful. Many people don’t believe in soul-baring, but I think it is very cleansing, enlightening and lightening!

  4. Hey Laksh, Appa must be smiling from heaven for having such a wonderful daughter. Reading the post brought me to tears. And yes we dear daughters don’t need a special day to show our love to our dads.

  5. Dear Laksh, growing up I never missed my father because my mother has done so much for me. Actually I feel guilty to even imagine how it would have been if my father was alive. But your posts about your father, they way you express the bond you both had, your love for him, really makes me feel jealous.

  6. The description is so universal(which is why we are all daddy’s gals forever).
    I never believe in this father’s day or any of the day, precisely for this reason. I would feel very guilty if there is just one day to celebrate them. Life’s provides enough opportunities to celebrate by being there for each other.

  7. Very very touching post Laksh. Your post made me also travel down memory lane and think of all the little things I did with Appa.

    Thanks!

  8. Beautifully written. I had tears welled up while reading it. My father is my pillar of strength and after reading this I wish I was in India so I could be close by.

  9. Very touching post. Guess we are all Daddy’s girls after all. Mommy becomes more of our friend after marriage. More for guidance.

    I can see that with my daughter too. I sometimes call her Roo and her Dad is Kanga 🙂
    Our generation Dad’s never expressed so much, very subtle. Maybe it was their upbringing.

  10. @Devi: Thank you. It makes me feel good about cherishing these memories.
    @Veena: Thank you. Its nice to share it with everyone. 🙂
    @Anila: Absolutely. You can call me everyday to tell me I am great. 🙂
    @Gayathri: Thank you!!
    @Deepa: I sure hope so.
    @Madhuram: Your comment touched me and made me smile. Am sure your mom know how much she means to you.
    @Sachita: Totally agree.
    @aarthi: Oops! Didn’t mean to make you cry.
    @Lakshmi: 🙂 Hope you shared it with your appa.
    @Sangeetha: Pick up that phone and call him now.
    @Manchus: Very true. Amma read your comment and agreed too.
    @Nalini: Thank you!

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