Let me be

Tuesday’s class on leadership and personal development saw among other things personality profiles. We did the Myers-Briggs Assessment and I was classified an ENFP which did not surprise me one bit. As we talked about how awareness of our tendencies can help us in our personal lives one thing that the guest speaker said stood out in my mind. I may not be quoting her verbatim but the essence is not everybody may see the world the way you do and it is OK. The key is to be cognizant of this important fact and stop trying to make others specially significant others into copies of ourselves.

Driving back home already upset about my poor paper, these thoughts were relegated to the back of my mind. However, this morning as I got ready for work, it came surging forward. Perhaps, this was my way of missing K but I realized what the lady had said in class was exactly what I had to watch out for. My world was full of gregarious ideas. I hate routine and crave change. I think out loud. I can’t follow logic in making decisions. Mine are spur of moment, guided by instinct decisions. K is the exact opposite. No wonder we both have our share of disappointments. I expect him to call no matter how involved he might be in the everyday happenings out there in India. Because I would. I expect him to buy tokens of love. Because I would. The list is endless.

Because I would no longer should hold. I should be able to see the world he does. Perhaps the space he craves is not from lack of love but from a love for spending time on things he treasures. If he has to talk to me he needs undisturbed time and space both of which are sorely lacking. These are trivial examples but I could feel a light bulb go off in my head. The dawn of understanding.

Not sure how much longer the clarity will last but while I enjoy my new found way of looking at people’s actions, here is a shout out to K. Enjoy your trip and don’t bother calling. Unless you want to of course. 🙂

9 thoughts on “Let me be

  1. I did this assessment on Monday as part of my training. I came out to be an ISFJ, which exactly matched my personality. I thoroughly enjoyed the session, only because I was able to understand and realise the different personalities. I do not know how long this realisation will last in me, but until then I am going to enjoy it!

  2. Laksh, I SO relate to this post. Elan is forever telling me that I look at lot of things only through my own eyes. And that just because I do things in a certain way or think of things in a certain way, it doesn’t mean that others do. Basically putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s something I really need to work on too. Thanks for reminding me.

  3. Hi Laksh. I happen to be reading a book yesterday,.. which touched on the very same subject! From what I learnt, everyone is as complex as we are, and often this tend to be forgotten. People are dynamic from moment to moment, and there is no way of knowing anyone, even yourself, completely, at any moment. IF we can appreciate this, then there is a chance that many dissapointents from “expectations not being met” can be softened or even avoided altogether. In other words, don’t think you can ever “know someone”. Sadly,.. there is no such thing.

  4. You now what I was just talking to one of my aunt’s about this earlier this morning, it really is amazing how complex creatures we are. Half the time us women are the cause of our own misery – too much thinking…. I often have these moments of a bright vision and am full of hope, but then the silliest of things creates the mental block which is so hard to remove then. A book I was given by a good friend which I would really recommend is ‘The hindi bindi club’ it is a very good book,another good one is what my husband ave me ‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus’, that really gave me a good insight to how men think & live life. We should learn to give each other space and have some quality time together.

  5. Nice topic… I tend to do the same thing… I always want the people that I really love to think like me… sometimes I do realize what I’m doing and I know it shouldnt be that way or I cant expect them to behave like how I want… but then it will only last for a few seconds… and you know what… it makes me think… if each and every individual is unique and if I have to accept them the way they are… then why not they cant do the same thing… if I demand something then it might be my nature… so the people that I love should know that and accept that too right… 😀

  6. Lovely Laksh!!! Great realization. And of-course yes the world is not the same for others as we see it. I may expect a bouquet of flowers from him for a V-day because I do send him, but he’d express his love holding my hands all the night right after my surgery. Talking about me to a housekeeping lady of the hospital. Not only our better halves but let that be anyone for that matter. If this realization happens within everyone the whole world will be so different and so beautiful.

  7. @Arun: Glad it set you down the path of introspection. I related to your last post too. Caught it on the iPhone and leaving a comment was a pain. Will get to it sometime soon 🙂
    @Smitha: True. That’s exactly what I thought too. Good I now know myself but I wonder for how long 🙂
    @Bavani: Glad to be of help. Problem is most of us realize it but don’t do anything about it.
    @Spillay: You just burst my bubble! 😛 I was beginning to believe I might be getting to know myself better 🙂
    @Kiran. I have read Men are from Mars but the other book I haven’t. Akay recommended that one a while ago. Will try and get it.
    @Selvi: Good reasoning. The idea is if each person realized the other person is different we will all learn not to be upset when others’ do not give in to our demands. It is a heighened sense of awareness.
    @Deepa: True. Let’s see how long I remember this ;p

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