Waking up after a rather short but restful sleep, I felt oodles better than the night before. It had been class night and I returned home in a rather sour mood after I had received my paper after grading. I thought I had done well but the instructor obviously did not share my view and with good reason perhaps. Instead of walking up to him to try to find out why, I decided to give myself time to analyze and take in the comments and see what I could do to improve myself for the next paper due next Tuesday. Reaching home, I saw Amma had made poli. One of my favorite dishes. Even that failed to cheer me up. After getting irritated with her for no reason, I kept on and on about silly things and just was radiating so much negativity that I felt like a train wreck. The kind where you know you are headed down a path of destruction yet you cannot stop yourself. That was me yesterday night.
Having had enough of me, Amma went up to sleep and I decided to play with my living breathing online persona. My blog. Tired of the same look, I scouted for newer themes and downloaded a whole bunch. Picking the one that is on now, I tweaked it till I was halfway satisfied with it. There is work yet to be done but it was enough for then. Logging off, I realized I felt better. Working away my frustration and anger at myself for not having done well, I channeled that energy into something productive.
Waking up, I felt horrible for treating my Amma badly that I bounded down to give her a hug. It shamed me how much I was taking her for granted. Driving into work, I made a mental note to myself not to take out my negative emotions on others. That is what blogs are for. Right?