Seeping change

Sometimes change happens so slowly that you are not aware it happens at all and one fine day something happens that you sit up and take notice and recognize what is different. Like packing your bag and leaving for the day at 5:30 PM and being startled that it is not as dark as you expected it to. You look back and wonder was it dark yest? Possibly was. You don’t know. But you know today is definitely not dark enough.

On the same vein as much as I tease K about his food habits it is only when my mom visits I realize how much of K’s habits I have imbibed. Like not eating when not hungry. Its common sense right? Not as common. I grew up drinking coffee because I felt like it. Not because I was hungry. Coffee and other beverages were never really thought of as food. As something that contains calories. So, yesterday as I walked in and Amma asked “Coffee?” I said “No”. She looked at me surprised. The girl she knew never said “No” to coffee after a day at work. After a series of such inconsequential things happened in one day I seemed to discover how much I have changed though I don’t remember it happening in a cognizant fashion. I am not regretting the change or feeling shocked by it but it does make me think. Makes me sit up and take notice.

Makes me notice how much effect people around me have on me. How repetition causes acceptance. How it can be so gradual that there is no resistance. No wonder they say “With time all will be well”.

9 comments

  1. Theres a saying in Telugu, “aaru nelalu pothe veeru vaaru avutaaru” (In months this person turns up like the other). Some influential people do have a lot of effect on us, not just the people in our family. I am heavily influenced by my dad when growing up. I guess we always learn from other people around us

    @SV: Thank you for stopping by. True. I was heavily influenced by my father too. Learning from people you want to emulate is one thing, while imbibing things by virtue of association is a whole different thing. It amazes me. 🙂

  2. Totally off-topic – did you hear about the gem from Mrs. & Mr. Dutt (the only one as per Mr.Dutt) – would love to hear your opinion on that!

    @Akay: I did!! I did not know whether to feel amused or angry. Specimens!! I tell ya. This coming from a guy who’s been in and out of jail and possibly committing polyandry since his dutiful wife is not separated from her first hubby yet. What can I say??

  3. That’s so true Laksh, being influenced by the people around especially the spouse. My mother in law and my mother especially comment how less spice and salt I use in my cooking these days. We are totally oblivious to the change while it’s happening.

    @Madhuram: I knew you would relate to this much. 🙂

  4. It is so true Laksh! Ofcourse in my case, Elan usually complains that he is adopting more of my bad habits hehe. “They say” that spouses even started looking a little like each other in their old age – SCARY! My mum used to say that when she and my Dad were much older, one would be thinking of a tune/song in their head and the other would sing it out 🙂

    @Bavani: I’ve heard that too! Scary 🙂

  5. It is a very slow process and unless you stop and look every now and then you can quite easily loose yourself. Just came across your site and liked the article so thought I should leave a comment.

    @Kiran: Thanks for stopping by and leaving a note. Really appreciate it. I agree that stopping to pause once in a while lets us appreciate what we have and go through.

  6. Remember i told you some time back (infact commented here)
    maggie on October 22nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
    Very well written lux – actually i don’t quite agree on the skewness of the relationship – i guess you are what you are!
    Something else i noticed during your trip here was that I see so much of you in K and soooo much of K in you – may be partially answers your “Shy post” – i wanted to write it then but found time now ! i too noted that you had kind of “toned down” from your original self but also noted that K had livened up much more that i saw him in 2001 ! I guess that’s what a great relationship does!
    Keep it going and bask in each others goodness

    You hadn’t tho’t abt it then….

    @maggie: Thanks da Haven’t really thought of my attitudes rubbing off on K. Point noted. Will observe to see what I can find

    I guess now you did 🙂

    Infact it was too obvious to miss – especially your effect on K 🙂
    I am sure Akay would agree – infact i see so much of her in K and vice versa!

    Maggie

    @Maggie: I did think of this comment when I wrote this post 🙂

  7. Very true! And changes just happen…you dont even know if its good or bad! Actually, no one gets time to make out if its good or bad! You just accept it the way it is. Nice Thought.

    @Shalu: Acceptance definitely. What I realized was how cognizant we are of the changes does matter.

  8. True Laksh. When my parents visited us a few years back, they were pleasantly surprised at how much I have changed..!

    @Suman: Glad to see the word “pleasantly” 🙂

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