Entitlement

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All my life I grew up feeling entitled to a whole lot of things like a happy childhood, loving parents, a roof over my head, clothes the way I wanted it. You name it. In the natural progression of things dictated by what my peers did, I felt entitled and more often than not, got what I felt entitled to.

So, what happens when something I feel entitled to does not quite happen the way I want? I sometimes cry unfair and make a stinking scene. Sometimes I look away with tears clouding my eyes. Other times, I bite back the grief that threatens to overcome me and smile my way through. Sometimes, I even say “sour grapes”. Bah!

This morning however, I sought to look at the underlying problem. Why do I feel entitled to whatever it is that I want? I had no answers. However, it did make me think of all the factors that compound my feelings. Peer pressure, Society, my self image tied to other’s perception of me.

While I am no closer to finding any solution to handle my expectations of myself I figured I’d make a post of it.

8 comments

  1. I am learning that I should expect nothing. Not entitled to anything at all. Should be thankful for what you get I suppose πŸ˜€ Well, I guess it is me in my current circumstances…but yeah I have done the scenes to say I am entitled for this or that…
    I still am doing that with P to get a settlement saying A is entitled to a decent life!

  2. Laksh,

    How true that many of us feel that we are entitled to all the good things in life, you said it aptly, it is tied to peer pressure, perception, image etc. And, when we don’t get what we feelw e are entitled for, we feel as those life has been cruel to us. My chitti would say to me, whenever you are thinking like that (bcos you are a spoilt brat), look around you to the less fortunate folks in life and remember to count and thank God for your blessings. It works, though its hard to do that all the time.

  3. “n the natural progression of things dictated by what my peers did, I felt entitled and more often than not, got what I felt entitled to.”

    For a lack of better eloquence on my part, I will have to repeat what I usually say, “that was so well put”.

    On the topic itself, whenever I end up reaching the usual, “why god? why? why me?”, the stupid brain of mine flashes the image of people who are less fortunate than me and I counter it by thinking of people who are more fortunate than me.

    Unless it is totally illogical desire, I don’t see anything wrong in wanting= entitlement.

  4. Hi Lakshmi,

    I have been creeping in to your blog these days and I find it very interesting. I don’t know if you remember me, but I used to work in Wipro 1999-2003 in the Transco account. Look at ur pics, I am sure I have seen you there with Simla/Lakshmi etc, infact I landed at your blog through orkut I think.
    Have been thinking of dropping in a note for quite sometime now, so thot today was the day πŸ™‚
    Keep writing and keep up the good job!

  5. yes. it is natural to feel entitled for what other people have. however it is our responsibility to find happiness by making best use of what we have, otherwise life would be very depressing, because there is always somebody is more blessed than us!

  6. I think part of the reason sometimes I feel I am entitled to certain things is because I grew up not knowing what deprivation is. If I asked for one pencil, my dad would buy me two pencils. Not that we didn’t know the value of money, we knew what to eye for :-). I pretty much got things easily. So if I didn’t get something I wanted, I felt that I was deprived of something for no fault of mine. In other words, I didn’t get what I was entitled to.

    Naan has expressed it so beautifully. I also wanted to pass this http://apoetsblogsite.blog.dada.net/post/446557/Desidereta It never fails to pump me up when I am down.

  7. @Apar: Expectation management I guess is part of this. Somehow, transferring the pain and angst on a super natural force seems easy but not sure that is the route I am heading.
    @Mitr: Sure is hard. I somehow tend to see people far more blessed than I am. There lies my problem πŸ™‚
    @sachita: Totally with ya.
    @Mathangi: Welcome here! I checked out your blog too and love your post titles πŸ™‚ I can’t seem to remember you but I did check with Lakshmi and she gave me quite a description. Now I am curious to associate a name to your face. Perhaps I should impose on you at Orkut πŸ™‚
    @naan: very true. it’s the giving up on hope/learning detachment that is making me sad.
    @Suman: You always put it so well. Your explanation suits me to a T. Following your link now.

  8. No…not transferring the pain/angst on super natural forces…but just saying I expect nothing from anyone. Makes my life easier πŸ™‚ So, when I expect nothing and get something, even a really teeny weensy thing, it makes one happy. πŸ˜€ As I said that is me in my current circumstances. Maybe I will get to the whiny scene creating person sometime again πŸ™‚

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