“Our neighbour has invited me to receive thamboolam…” said my mom and trailed off. I could visualize what the rest of her sentence would look like. I wanted her to go of course but the conversation eventually wound up with “What will others say?”
This is typical of most of the conversations I have with friends, with relatives and with a whole lot of people I know. Situations could be anything from divorce, remarriage, marrying outside the clan, refusal to adhere to traditions. It bothers me that with zillions of movies being made in India talking about these “taboo” topics, the same people who root for the hero and heroine running around trees refuse to acknowledge the truth when it happens in their immediate circle. When they hear of xyz advocating their widowed DIL’s remarriage or come to terms with abc’s divorce, they seem stunned when it seems like it could happen in their own family.
As I pondered about how much this affects me, I realized I was guilty of it in my own way. I change into a salwar if I am meeting elders in my desi circle. I alter my behavior depending on the crowd I am in. I disguise my fear of “What will others say?” in the name of respect and appropriate behavior.
Perhaps I should look inward before I rant about stuff here?