K sat frustrated with our new laptop. He was harried because it was getting late to go to work. Shower not done, his beeper went off. As he tried to navigate the keyboard of our new laptop his frustrations bounced off me. “Why does it take so long to boot?”, “Where is the End key?”, “Why is the Page Up and Page Down here instead of up there?”. The questions seemed endless. I could feel his angst. I did not react like I usually do. I found the whole exercise curious.
I have often blamed him for his resistance to change. Whether it is a physical move from one place to another or reluctance in accepting new technology. This morning however, it served as an example to me. Some people are loath to change. I thrive in it. Or so I thought.
He eventually managed to get what he wanted out of the piece of technology and moved on forgetting the anger and the anxiety. However, the questions of the morning kept coming back to me. How different was I from him? When we got something new, I went with the change. I did not expect things to be comparable to what we already had. I accepted it for what it was. Something new.
However, the same principles did not apply to people in my case. I compared the past forever to the future. “I had more friends in Bangalore.” I usually whine. “I had more stimulating conversations with my friends of old.”, “We had great neighbours back home.” My comparisons were endless. I wanted my old life back. My comfort zone. A place where I knew well to navigate. Anything new threw me off kilter. I had to learn all over. K on the other hand, adapted very well to new people in our lives. He is the more accepting of the two of us.
As I looked back at the past seven years, that explained why I could not recreate the life past. I was hung up on the old. It’s time for change I realized and that time is now.