Why not me?

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A few minutes back, K forwarded an email containing baby pictures from a common friend. I looked at the pictures, duly wrote a response and realized I was annoyed. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I was annoyed because the friend in question really was my ex-colleague. I was miffed that I was not copied on that email.

I have probably ranted enough about this earlier but had to get it off my chest.Why is it at least in the circles I move that men tend to talk only to men and women to women? I understand there is an underlying comfort feel in relating that way but it does bother me when the person in question is or was someone I knew first.

12 comments

  1. Very funny emotion or feel we women have in common…I also share the same emotion, that I get angry with my male friend who became G’s friend later after my marriage, if he calls or e-mails only him. Strange feeling isn’t Laksh??? Hope we need to grow up bit more!

  2. Laksh-

    Can relate to that totally, have similar relationship with some couples at our end. I guess its us, the women, who tend to take this offense more personally than the men, since they wouldn’t be bothered by it if it were the other way around.

  3. o totally relate! It’s like we don’t exist.

    In other situations there are a bunch o men who will not talk with a woman and neither will they look at them. weird.

  4. I haven’t been in such a situation – but if I were, I too would be p***** off! After all, cc and bcc functions do exist in emails these days, am I not right?

  5. Hi Laksh. I actually find this very interesting…. Now, something I experienced a few months ago may actually make some sense. We were introduced to a family who had just migrated to Aust from India. The wife was very friendly to me and I enjoyed talking to her, but her husband just didn’t want to talk to me at all. Whenever I even tried to make eye contact or stood next to him,.. he just ignored me totally. (Now, looking back, I realise he didn’t talk to the other women too). I have to say,… it did make me feel very small and insignificant that day… (I only realise now through your post that it may be a ‘way of life’ that this family was used to….)

  6. Its like boy-boy, girl-girl talk, is it?
    I have only encountered this in very few occasions, but it sure startles me when I do encounter them.

    I don’t seriously think we are making a big issue of these. Normally, would you email a friend, or a friend’s spouse? but if a friend is a woman, would you start emailing the husband?

    I can’t help but judge a wee bit on such occasions.

  7. Its like boy-boy, girl-girl talk, is it?
    I haven’t yet encountered them in the friend’s circle. But did meet one such person in a casual conversation in the airport.

    I don’t seriously think we are making a big issue of these. Normally, would you email a friend, or a friend’s spouse? but if a friend is a woman, would you start emailing the husband?

    I can’t help but judge a wee bit on such occasions.

  8. Was just about to suggest what Nikhil had said πŸ˜‰
    I have actually done that though…can tell you that it does not make a difference anyways…Learn to live with it I suppose, like so many other things! πŸ˜€

  9. I think men do not pay much attention to email or who they are emailing to. I can imagine a girl crafting the email and paying attention to To list, but I think a guy would not care much. So no point taking it personal, I feel.

  10. @Deepa: Not sure who has to grow up? Us or them πŸ™‚
    @Mitr: Totally true. K makes sure I get a “peek” into the male psychology once in a while. things that bother me hardly ruffle him.
    @rads: I know! totally weird!
    @Bavani: Absolutely. All I wanted was to be acknowledged as a person in my own right.
    @Spillay: I can understand. I run into situations like this here. Many times I offer my hand when saying Hello and there have been times when they have pointedly refused to shake hands with me. It is mortifying!
    @Sachita: Get your point Sachita. In this case I would usually mark my email to whoever is my friend girl or guy and copy the spouse as well.
    @Nikhil: don’t think it would have registered in this person’s case. Anyways, its behind me now. Funny how things feel too important only to feel silly the next day.
    @Apar: totally agree with ya.
    @anamika: possible πŸ™‚

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