A few minutes back, K forwarded an email containing baby pictures from a common friend. I looked at the pictures, duly wrote a response and realized I was annoyed. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I was annoyed because the friend in question really was my ex-colleague. I was miffed that I was not copied on that email.
I have probably ranted enough about this earlier but had to get it off my chest.Why is it at least in the circles I move that men tend to talk only to men and women to women? I understand there is an underlying comfort feel in relating that way but it does bother me when the person in question is or was someone I knew first.
Very funny emotion or feel we women have in common…I also share the same emotion, that I get angry with my male friend who became G’s friend later after my marriage, if he calls or e-mails only him. Strange feeling isn’t Laksh??? Hope we need to grow up bit more!
Laksh-
Can relate to that totally, have similar relationship with some couples at our end. I guess its us, the women, who tend to take this offense more personally than the men, since they wouldn’t be bothered by it if it were the other way around.
o totally relate! It’s like we don’t exist.
In other situations there are a bunch o men who will not talk with a woman and neither will they look at them. weird.
I haven’t been in such a situation – but if I were, I too would be p***** off! After all, cc and bcc functions do exist in emails these days, am I not right?
Hi Laksh. I actually find this very interesting…. Now, something I experienced a few months ago may actually make some sense. We were introduced to a family who had just migrated to Aust from India. The wife was very friendly to me and I enjoyed talking to her, but her husband just didn’t want to talk to me at all. Whenever I even tried to make eye contact or stood next to him,.. he just ignored me totally. (Now, looking back, I realise he didn’t talk to the other women too). I have to say,… it did make me feel very small and insignificant that day… (I only realise now through your post that it may be a ‘way of life’ that this family was used to….)
Its like boy-boy, girl-girl talk, is it?
I have only encountered this in very few occasions, but it sure startles me when I do encounter them.
I don’t seriously think we are making a big issue of these. Normally, would you email a friend, or a friend’s spouse? but if a friend is a woman, would you start emailing the husband?
I can’t help but judge a wee bit on such occasions.
Its like boy-boy, girl-girl talk, is it?
I haven’t yet encountered them in the friend’s circle. But did meet one such person in a casual conversation in the airport.
I don’t seriously think we are making a big issue of these. Normally, would you email a friend, or a friend’s spouse? but if a friend is a woman, would you start emailing the husband?
I can’t help but judge a wee bit on such occasions.
oh oh… no delete function in your blog:(
LOL… Send out an email to all your friends except the ex-colleague and then mail him separately with just 😛 in the email! 😀
Was just about to suggest what Nikhil had said 😉
I have actually done that though…can tell you that it does not make a difference anyways…Learn to live with it I suppose, like so many other things! 😀
I think men do not pay much attention to email or who they are emailing to. I can imagine a girl crafting the email and paying attention to To list, but I think a guy would not care much. So no point taking it personal, I feel.
@Deepa: Not sure who has to grow up? Us or them 🙂
@Mitr: Totally true. K makes sure I get a “peek” into the male psychology once in a while. things that bother me hardly ruffle him.
@rads: I know! totally weird!
@Bavani: Absolutely. All I wanted was to be acknowledged as a person in my own right.
@Spillay: I can understand. I run into situations like this here. Many times I offer my hand when saying Hello and there have been times when they have pointedly refused to shake hands with me. It is mortifying!
@Sachita: Get your point Sachita. In this case I would usually mark my email to whoever is my friend girl or guy and copy the spouse as well.
@Nikhil: don’t think it would have registered in this person’s case. Anyways, its behind me now. Funny how things feel too important only to feel silly the next day.
@Apar: totally agree with ya.
@anamika: possible 🙂