“If you want something, you have to fight for it!” my FIL stated emphatically. No. It was not in the context of something inspirational yet it turned out to be one for me. He was speaking of the red-tapism and the attendant struggles in getting anything done in Bangalore. Am sure it is true of most of our home towns. In this case he was particularly frustrated by the constant rise in his cell bill and charges tacked on for things he did not use. I had to fight to get it taken off the bill he said. He concluded grandly saying “K and L, if you want something, you have to fight for it.”

With something as profound as this on my mind, I went to sleep and woke up with a sense of realization. My father in law is in many ways similar to my father in his ability to get me thinking and inspiring respect for what he does. Both of them were polar opposites. That’s what I thought. My father hated confrontation. He would go out of his way to settle things by negotiation. Never a raised voice if he could help it. Compromise and negotiation were his hall marks. On the other hand, my FIL is a vocal person. He lets the person on the other side of the argument really have it. He does this with so much conviction that sometimes the other person gives up even if they are right! If you want someone on your side for support and strength, my FIL is the person to go to. He was too, in his extended neighborhood and very proud of his role as guardian. Behind his ferocious nature however is a heart of gold. He cares, really cares for people and issues around him. He is the kind of person who would stop by if there is an accident in front of him and remove his shirt to staunch the flow of blood. The kind of person who would carry peanuts and biscuits on temple trips and such just in case we ran into birds or monkeys we could feed.

Well! the point I was trying to get at is that even though my father and FIL were polar opposites they shared this trait of going after something withย  tenacity. Their approaches were different but the end result same. As I lay thinking about my FIL’s comment, I was reminded of my father. Of his quiet pursuit of his dreams. Never discussed, yet his eyes shining with happiness at the odd success here and there. There is so much I take after my father and yet I lack something fundamental. I hate confrontation. Absolutely. I would rather pay the extra amount of the bill if I had to fight to have it taken off. I aim big and in most cases lack the tenacity to hang on and see something to completion.

My FIL with his innocent comment has really made me think. Of how much I want to succeed at what I set my mind to. The solution is right there staring at my face. If I want it. I have to fight for it.

Simple no?

Mom to three. Open adoption advocate. Writer.

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