As my mom spoke of yet another good friend who lost her mom this past week, I slipped into a melancholic state. The raw feelings of grief that washed over me when I realized my dad’s loss revisited me all over again. No matter our age, it is always hard to deal with the loss of a parent. The physical immediate loss that expresses itself in the absent voice over the phone or the loneliness that comes from the empty rooms in the house. Then the emotional loss that comes from being unable to share the good and bad in our lives. The feeling of a void in our lives. The void created by this person that occupied it for a good part of our lives.
I look at my dad’s picture looking back at me. From the calender, from my wallpaper on the laptop, the small framed picture at my work desk. Images, feelings, memories trigger the feeling of loss in many ways. Sometimes they cause me to look away. Sometimes my eyes moisten a little bit. Sometimes I cry unabashedly. Time does dull the pain no doubt, but the shadows of what could have been remain.
So, dear friend, I can feel your loss. I hope you will be kind to yourself. I hope you and your family will find the strength to carry on. May your mom’s soul rest in peace.