Stirrings of parenthood

I spent all of Sunday in the company of my little niece and my cousin whom I had not met in a year and half. Playing with my niece, feeding her, rocking her to sleep, I had no idea how the day passed. Before I knew it, it was time to go home. As she repeated everything I said, I felt pride swell in me. “I taught her to say that..” I thought. As my SIL and I visited a neighbor she remarked how my niece resembles me and I grinned from ear to ear like I had something to do with it. Every little interaction with her fed my ego.

On my drive back home I couldn’t help thinking how egoistic I was. If I, just an aunt felt this way, I wondered how parents felt. In some sense I could understand the parents who gushed like their child was the only one on earth who could do all these amazing things at the age of one. For once, I could be less sarcastic and cynical of adoring parents. All the things I used to cringe at – having one year olds put on the phone to say hello or babble or listening to hours of baby talk are now things I can relate to. I insist that my SIL put my niece on the phone and force the poor thing to say “Athai”. I can sit for hours babbling just like her and enjoying the moments of intimacy in the shared sounds. I cannot believe how much time I spend thinking of her.

On the other hand, when my cousin got into his car to drive away to take his first job, I felt like his mom. I wanted him to drive safe, call me when he reached and muttered a thousand blessings under my breath and hoped his life will be very successful. I also realized moments before sinking into sleep yesterday night that I did not have to be a biological mom to feel the weight of parenthood.

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11 thoughts on “Stirrings of parenthood

  1. Yes.. that is so true. Mother’s instinct is actually more a woman’s instinct. It’s also so true, how hard it is to not talk about one’s kids. I try not to, but sometimes I just can’t help it.

  2. so true!! actually i can talk about my nephews for hours and hours and to be honest praise them and talk about them more than my sis :)…i guess it is natural…

  3. dont know if I will do the same thing when I have kids… but this is what I will tell my friend to do… if she sees me boasting or pampering my kids… i give her my permission to slap me and bring me back to reality… sometimes we see differently from others right…

  4. So true Laksh, before I had a kid I used to wonder how all the ladies can go on an on about their kids… and now I do the same thing.. how much ever I try not to do it but once SD’s topic starts I just can’t stop and when I hear some other kid doing the same, I feel so stupid yet so proud.
    My bro now calls me Amma, he says the more I am growing up I am becoming his second mommy and not his sister, though we still fight and argue but still now I am more worried and tell him the same things which mom says. I guess as we grow older the motherly instinct takes over.

  5. @Rekha: LOL πŸ™‚ I understand what you mean. I did not till recently.
    @Roop: I read your piece(s) too. LOL πŸ™‚ Yup it does feel that way sometimes
    @Rajitha: Specially if they happen to be the first kid in the family.
    @Selvi: Absolutely. Might borrow your trick for myself when I do have kids
    @Mads: LOL. Totally get what you say. πŸ™‚

  6. Well, I guess it is kinda ingrained in us. Though I try not to talk much about A; more so because off late I am bugged that everyone wants me to live my life solely for him! πŸ™‚ I can also relate a lot to the motherly instinct; cos I worry about my little (well not so little now…still) cousins.

  7. I totally agree with Rekha on woman’s instinct rather than mother’s instinct. I think most of the women are genetically engineered to care for people around them.

    I really try long and hard to avoid putting A on the phone while I’m talking to my friends Laksh. But he takes the call even before I could pick up the phone. He is so crazy about speaking over phone. So most of the time I lock myself in the room while talking over phone.

  8. @Apar: Has to be a woman thing then πŸ™‚
    @Shalu: I worry about you too you know ;p
    @Madhuram: Talking with A is a pleasure so I don’t totally mind him being on the phone at all!

  9. Just wanted to add one thing though on this…I hate it when kids who cannot talk properly, convey messages or be coherent pick up the phone. I would rather have an adult pick the phone up, finish what is necessary or whatever and then pass on the phone to the kid. That I can accept, but the kid picking up the phone really irritates me as I have gone through hell trying to get a kid to pass on a msg to her mom/dad…talking of LG and her kid here! πŸ™‚ There are times when I could not get whether there was an adult there or not even!! frustrating not to say the least!
    Sorry Madhuram πŸ˜€

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