And there I sat.

This really happened.

This past Friday, I drove myself to work. It is a rarity considering K and I work at the same place and he almost always drives the car. The day went past and it was time for me to leave. Remembering to check with K on directions to another place I wanted to go from work before I went home, I picked up the keys and my purse remembering I needed them even if my bag was in the trunk.

Opening the door to the outside, I felt a moment of happiness. It was one of those days when it is bright and windy and you smell freedom the minute you step out of work. Plus, it was a Friday. What more did I need? I walked jauntily to the car, dumped my bag and lunch box in the trunk, checked if I had the phone with me and walked over to the door and let myself in. I settled myself comfortably tightened my seat belt and sat.

Thirty seconds later, I realized what was wrong. Horror of horrors, I was in the passenger seat. I felt embarrassed and quickly checked to see if anyone was watching. Face red with shame, I hurried to the driver’s seat and then drove away.

All that evening, this was all I could think of. I have become so accustomed to being driven around that on the rare occasion that I do have to drive myself I plonk myself on the passenger side by habit. What horrified me was not just this instance. It seemed representative of all else in my life.

I have gladly handed over everything that I used to do as a spinster to the capable hands of K. I am so used to him taking care of bills, documenting and filing papers and just about everything around the house. I live my life on autopilot. Everything takes care of itself.

Friday was an awakening. I hope I remember the scare.

16 thoughts on “And there I sat.

  1. That was funny! Our mind is so programmed to do certain things, isn’t it? But I think division of labor and specialization is a natural consequence when two people share their lives. I am sure K has handed over some of things that he used to take care of to you. But I know what you mean, one should strive to be versatile. Here’s an interesting quote I bumped into a few years back:

    “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

  2. I can imagine that that would be an awakening…but like Suman said, I’m sure you both have your separate areas of responsibilities. For me and my hubby, he too drives whenever we go out as a family – I only drive during the weekdays when he’s at work. But in my case, unlike you, I am conscious of things he’s doing and pretend that I don’t know hehehe – so that he will do it 🙂

  3. Your blog actually made me realize that I don’t even know when my mobile bill is paid 😦 forget about the rest of the household stuff, SD fees.. thanks Laksh… I should talk to AD today… 🙂

  4. Hey be thankful you have some body like that for you…here I am with people telling me; hey u have to learn to live alone! Instead of fretting over why you are not doing things, be happy there is some one like K who is right there loving & caring doing all that and more 🙂 I am also sure you do a lot for him with all the love, care & affection.

  5. Laksh-

    An awakening moment indeed for you. I too am used to K doing some stuff, like paying bills etc. and we both have areas which we manage separately and the other person doesn’t know much about it. I guess it will be nice to have mixed areas of responsibility sometimes. As for as driving goes, when we go long distance, he drives one way and I do the other. Local driving mostly is him, but, I do take over sometimes, simply because I love driving his car.

  6. That was really funny, but kinda same thing happened to me for our front door opening ritual. Usually G does opening the front door of our home for me whenever we go out and come back. It was one of the days we went for shopping and I climbed happily with no things in hand, where as G was carrying all the shopping bags and we both stood in front of our door, I went on talking to G on something expecting him to do the ritual with things on both his hands…He gave a stare for a second, and started laughing the next moment..I felt the same way as you felt now.

  7. Ouch! now that was embarrassing but somewhat worth it too!
    It so weird…but we tend to take things for granted.. so much so that we don’t even realize that the thing even exists!!

    Actually mom had to go out on an official trip for three me n dad were left alone to take care of ourselves and the house as well. I had also joined internship at that like mom’s routine…i had to get up early, cook food, go to office, come back and cook food again…and clean the kitchen and then finally get to eat my own food. When mom used to do everything, i thought it was all a cakewalk and i used to wonder why she used to make such a big fuss about the maid! but when i stepped in her shoes, i realized how tiring and difficult her life was. Added to this, the tensions at home, office…phew!! And even after all that, she somehow manages to take out time to listen to me and sort out my stupid teen issues.

    When mom came back, i hugged her tight and didnt leave her for 15mins! I was sooo glad that she was back!! I never want her to leave me alone…again! Not that i do much for her nowadays also, but sometimes when she’s late from work, i make it a point to cook the dinner.

  8. @Suman: It was! Loved the quote you shared.
    @Bavani: I am more than happy to let K do stuff for me. Sometimes when things like this happen, I have morbid thoughts and wonder if I am capable of doing everything on my own.
    @Mads: Was your bill paid? ;p
    @Rajitha: Not really! I made a note to ask him though.
    @Apar: True. Counting my blessings.
    @Mitr: What car does K have? Between our cars, I love mine. I have a Prius.
    @UL: 🙂
    @Bavani: Thanks! It was a fun tag.
    @Deepa: Totally relate to your incident. I could imagine the two of you in front of the door and waiting.
    @Shalu: Did your mom read your comment. She should. Guess what! I am proud of you. 🙂
    @Shankar: Funny definitely. Specially as I looked around to see if anyone saw what I did 🙂 Interesting too cos I kept analyzing it for a long time after.

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