Home is where the heart is

Debating between watching TV and finding someone to bore over phone, I was standing by the center table when the phone rang. Thanking God for resolving my dilemma, I hurried to get the phone. I saw it was from my girlfriend and was grinning to myself thinking “Maatina paavam”. Roughly translates to “Poor girl. She has no idea what is coming her way”.

Turned out she called because a common friend we knew was returning to India for good. Some one who had been here in the suburbs of Phila for over 11 years. She had this friend over for dinner and the other girl wanted to bid adieu. I cradled the phone in the crook between my neck and ear and walked in circles tracing a well worn out path on my carpet. My thoughts were in a whirl like they are each time someone tells me they are making a life altering decision. We chatted for about 20 minutes going into details of where they were moving and when. The why part got a little hazy. She said they had always wanted to go back, but now that they were actually moving, she had no clue why she was doing it. She said for years India meant home. India meant family. Years passed by with me thinking that is where my heart is. Now as I pack my material possessions and with it memories, I realize this is home. This is where my heart it. She sounded lost and a little overwhelmed getting those words out. We finished off our conversation promising to keep in touch and exchanging new co-ordinates.

After I hung up the phone, I did not want to go back to watch TV. Instead I stood taking in my surroundings. I stood rooted for a long time. I realized this was home. It does not matter that I was born thousands of miles away. All that matters is that my heart is here. I am happy. There will be a time when I will mull the same questions my friend was thinking of yesterday. I need to remember then what I feel now.

Home is indeed where the heart is.

16 comments

  1. I remember writing it in one of your similar entries…The world is flat and the place where you think is home is where home is :D. Well, here’s to finding wherever one’s home is…and I hope to find mine sometime! I thought some place was my home turned out that it never was! 🙂 Don’t know where life is taking me, I am ready to travel (don’t really have any other choice 😉 )

  2. Home to me is always BHEL Township and more specially is the house D4/37 where I got to meet you all.I hate to think my parents have to move out in a couple of years from that kingdom called Towsnhip.
    Nice post Lakshmi

  3. Sorry for my chain of comments here, there was a typo in my earlier comment… what i meant was, I don’t need to disown one in order to have a sense of belonging to the other.

  4. Agree with you. For me this is my home, where my family is, the home we bought with our sweat and sacrifices.Inspite of all the fun with family during India trips( one coming up soon), my mind is at unrest till I come back home; I am most comfortable here. there I have my in laws home, my parents home and my sister’s home. my home is here.home sweet home!
    shy

  5. I agree with you Laksh. Home is definitely where the heart is now. Every now and then when there is a very bad event or very good event in Singapore for one of my family or friends, I wish I was there to support them. But that is all I wish – that I was there for support NOT back there living. I guess memories confuse us sometimes.

  6. Hm… I still think home is India – no particular place or house, just India. But may be I will feel like your friend when I leave – not sure about that.

  7. Laksh-

    Beautifully expressed..home is where the heart is. To me, Bay Area is home, not that I’ve been here for 10 plus years, but still, more than India, this feels like a safe haven where we built our lives, where we have our frrdom and independence. It sure feels bad when you aren’t around parents to help them when needed, but, still home is where you feel contented and have a sense of belonging, sadly, India is no more than place for me.

  8. I truly agree with you Laksh but I guess we all have our moment when our heart is back in India ‘cos of the memories, the people various other reasons and that is when home is back in India and this place alien

  9. I stumbled into your blog from Mitrs’. You have a nice blog!

    For me home is where I have the people I love close to me. It does not matter whether it is here or India. Having said that, I know it is difficult decision to make. There are so many pros and cons…

  10. i think our defination of ‘home’ keeps changin with time…but i think to pack up leave is a hard decision…you never realise how much you are attached to a place till it is time to say bye!

  11. @Apar: That is the point. Sometimes I am confused where my heart lies and by extention my home. Thursday probably showed me that my heart was here. Like Shy says India has my parents home, my in laws home and every one else’s home but mine. This is my home. Right here.
    @Suman: I totally get what you are saying. It’s taken me a long while to understand this simple fact of life 🙂
    @Abinaya: Feels weird calling you by your full name. Anyways I totally heart what you say. Part of it is probably because you are yet to put down roots in some place, build a home and a career and a circle around you just because you live there. Of course, this is just my two cents 🙂
    @Shy: You have expressed it beautifully. Exactly what I realized a couple of days back.
    @Bavani: True. I guess it is harder for some of us that had a life away from parents home in our country of birth. I moved away from home to do my college and later for work. Being away from mom and dad made me feel sometimes that Bangalore was my home. I have a lot of cherished memories there. Good and bad. Yet, what I learned last weekk was that the place I live in now is where I have put down roots. This will always have a special place in my heart like Bangalore should we move again. This is my home. Now.
    @Rekha: When you do, we should really revisit this conversation. I can get what you are saying except that I cannot seem to relate to it now. I did a few years ago.
    @Mitr: I understand. You have expressed your view beautifully too.
    @Mads: Very true. Each time I hear someone in my extended family passed away or when there is a wedding in the family. I feel like I am far away and then suddenly I wonder what on earth am I doing here. But thankfully those moments are far and few in between.
    @Naan: Welcome here! Thank you! I agree. I have a text file on my machine that has my list of pros and cons and the list always seems to be in a state of flux. 🙂
    @JS: True!
    @Rajitha: Absolutely. I had a hard time when I left Wipro to move on. It still is one of the most cherished jobs I held. The people made the difference.

  12. I am not so sure. From the comments, I see most of us have it clear in their mind that this is home. It is good they have it clear in their mind. So far, I have not come to a conclusion like that.

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