Standing at the door

After six months of having Amma over every weekend, six months of telephone calls every three hours, Amma leaves to India today. As I stood at the door waving Bye I was filled with sadness, concern, anxiety and a sense of responsibility. You see, this is the firstย  time Amma is traveling by herself. It is the beginning of many firsts. I know she has her list of instructions safely folded in her purse, her passport safely tucked within easy reach. However well prepared I know she is, I will spend the next 30 hours anxiously waiting to hear of her safe arrival home.

I am not really sure when the roles reversed. My worrying for her rather than the other way around. She looks small and lost in the airport crowd. My heart goes out to her. I wish Appa had been here, to hold her elbow and lead the way. To give her the security and confidence she craves. To feel un-alone.

I sit here thinking of you Amma and hoping and praying your flight home is uneventful. I love you.

9 thoughts on “Standing at the door

  1. I’m wishing your mum a safe trip too …… (Do post and let us know when she’s landed safely). It looks like you are going to be going through a period of adjustment too…. Take it easy OK ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Don’t worry Laksh, she will reach Chennai safely. The “role reversal” thing, you are right on money. I was thinking the same 2 hours back. My mother has gone to Mumbai for my patti’s 1st year anniversary. So I was thinking about her trip and was calling my uncle to see if she has arrived there safely. So I was thinking, few years back (and even now) my mother was worrying for me and now I’m worrying about her.

  3. I know exactly how you feel Laksh. I went through the same thing last year when my mum returned to Singapore after visiting us here in Boise. She no longer has my father by her side – but I am sure she is watched over as your mum is ๐Ÿ™‚
    Don’t worry – everything will go smoothly. The best thing to do is sleep…..the time goes much faster.

  4. I wish her a bon voyage too. Don’t worry, she will manage. Moms always do, as you know. and people are usually helpful if she needs it.
    I completely understand your anxiety as I have been on both sides as a worrying mother and one on the receiving side of it.

  5. I know exactly what you feel like. I actually was so worried that I made sure I came to India and brought back my parents with me and then repeated the same thing for my husband’s parents two years later. The thoughts and the anxiety when they travel alone is just too much to take. Needless to say, I could only do it one way but when they were going back I was a little more confident because they went through the whole rigmarole once already.

    Do let us know when she reaches here ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. @Spillay: Thanks! She did reach safely. I just heard from her. ๐Ÿ™‚
    @Madhuram: I totally can relate to what you say. The tides of time!
    @Bavani: I actually followed your advice and slept. Time did seem to move faster. She is home safe now ๐Ÿ™‚
    @Usha:That must be an unique perspective. Seeing it from both sides.
    @Divya: We do it that way each time she visits. We usually find someone who is traveling on the same date for the return. This was the first time she was absolutely on her own. I know I sound paranoid but guess that is the way it is. Glad she is home and the trip was uneventful.

  7. I worry about my parents too, though I still cannot understand why my parents would worry about me! I know my worrying about them solves no practical purpose, I live several continents away. But perhaps it assuages the guilt I feel at not being close enough to help them.

  8. @Anamika: Thank you!
    @Lekhni: LOL ๐Ÿ™‚ I keep wondering too. No idea why mom still worries about us ๐Ÿ™‚

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