Two years back bitten by the academia bug I made an appointment with Penn State Student counselors to figure out if I had enough credentials to take up a Masters program at their suburban campus. The lady who met with me looked at my transcripts and degree and waved breezily in the air remarking that I should have no trouble. For some one who has a bachelors degree not termed equivalent to the four year U.S. bachelors degree I was riddled with doubts. If that lady was sure it would not be a problem there should not be right? Wrong! I let my hopes rise only to be dashed a week later when another person at the same office told me there was no way I met the eligibility criteria. She also pointed me to a couple of online universities that would let me take bridge classes to bring my degree on ‘par’ with the U.S. ones.
As I held the phone against my ear waiting for the hold music to stop and hear a real live voice, I was feeling defeated. I almost convinced myself I was not good enough for anything. Before I put the phone down, there was a clear voice on the other end asking if she might be able to help. I poured out my blues to her. She must have been startled. She was definitely not on the payroll to listen to my academic woes. Anyways, I pulled myself together and explained to her why I needed to take a bridge course. She paused for a significant amount of time and then went over my prior academic record with me. Then slowly she said “We have a pilot program happening now that admits international students with good academic records and a three year bachelors degree. Would you like to apply to see if you would get admitted?” Fresh from rejection, I shrugged. What did I have to lose? One more rejection possibly.
So an action packed week later, I was enrolled and on my way to a Masters degree. This week again, I am on the threshold of a similar decision. Ever since my M.S. was over, I have in a sense missed studying. Missed being occupied by something. Missed having deadlines to meet. Missed writing long papers. Missed poring over imaginary balance sheets and evaluating risks of imaginary corporations. So, I boldly ventured into unknown territory. MBA. On an impulse I walked over to a campus near where I work and got a list of requirements to apply. Materials on hand I am riddled by doubt again. On whether I really want to do this. If I really have it in me to be a manager. If this is really the time for me to think about this. Lots of ifs. No answers. Wonder if such things are fated. If it is meant to happen, I will find a way to do it?
Confused as hell.