East or West, Mom’s the best!

We drove back from my brother’s home with my mom in the back seat. In the quiet silence of the night, I marveled at how much my relationship with amma had morphed with the passage of time. From being a person I rebelled against to someone I now look up to, I understand her better now than I ever did. Her anxiety, her possessiveness and her love.

As Saathi snored in the bedroom overhead, amma and I sat in our living room waiting for the milk to cool down before we added sour curds to it to make yogurt. Conversation ranged from U.S vs India, belief in astrology, in law relationships, how we were as babies and perspectives. As we argued about how we as a culture expected too much out of our children I found myself debating and at times hurting her even with what I thought were perfectly valid points. I almost forgot I was talking to amma not a friend. The differences in the way we were brought up was evident. As we were ready to call it a day and go to bed I realized there was nothing more joyful than an open respectful relationship with amma. We might not see eye to eye but the fact that we could express our feelings and thoughts without reserve was something I cherished.

So, today morning as I work sitting on my recliner I watch her cut vegetables and make lunch for Saathi and I and I feel an overwhelming sense of affection and love. Gratitude for all that she has done and continues to do. As she hands me two pieces of perfectly made toast, I smell her love along with the ghee.

Truly, this is life at its best.  To love and be loved in return

11 thoughts on “East or West, Mom’s the best!

  1. I know what you mean Laksh. My mum too has turned from my “mum” into “my best friend” over the years. We too have our debates – lots of times about relatives hehe

    You are truly lucky to have your mum all the way over here with you. My mum lives in Singapore, but we still spend time everyday on the webcam talking 🙂

  2. I came here from UL’s blog.
    My Mom is my hero and I can talk about her for hours although we have many differences of opinion like you mentioned. However, the interesting fact is that the feeling is mutual, respect is mutual, understanding is mutual. I grew up in Kerala village; so is my mom. Inspite of the limited information about the world outside in her times, she had an immense vision of how independent her 3 daughters should grow up. I admire her for that the courage with which she followed through it. I can totally relate to what you said.After I grew up, especially after I got married, we both talk about everything, her triumphs and trials and even about the marriage proposals came for her (interesting eh!)
    Your mention of amma made toast make me yearn for a ‘rice urula’ I take from my mom when ever I visit her back home.
    hope you don’t mind me stopping by your musings..shy

  3. @Bavani: You are right. I am damned lucky to have her with me. 🙂 Even if only for few days at a time.

    @Shy: Absolutely welcome here Shy. I have heard UL speak of you. Isn’t it fun talking of the old times and being able to relate to mom like a friend?

  4. Wow…looks like our minds went in almost the same direction today 🙂 what was that about great minds again? 🙂 …but the mother-daughter relationship is so universal, the best of friendships I agree.

  5. Awww!!! very sweet post. Hope your amma dear got a chance to read this post.

    Sorry, I am too lazy to go back to your earlier post and reply for your comment there. My mom didn’t own a beauty parlor. But I did my undergrad (in economics) from Avinashilingam and graduated in 1998. Does that ring a bell?

  6. @spillay: Thank you! Hope you are doing well.
    @Suman: Thank you! Amma did read it. Avinashilingam does ring a bell. My cousin did her masters there. I guess you passed out a year after she did. Will write to you over email

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