There is a charm to meeting friends from many years back. People with whom you share memories and a part of your past. There is a certain sense of anticipation and a small hope that may be you can recreate the magic of the times past.
Most times the experience leaves us with questions rather than answers. This is twice now that is has happened to me. I met a school friend after close to 10 yrs of not hearing from her. In my mind we were still the girls waiting for 7A sitting in a remote bus stop in Virugambakkam. In reality she was the mom to twin girls and I was the outsider looking in on a world I have not been priviledged to be part of.
Today again, I met a friend after five years. I did not expect much this time around given my let down from the previous time. I ended up being surprised some. I still felt pretty much the outsider looking in through an impenetrable transparent wall. But I was able to enjoy the experience. To be able to touch part of their lives without being sucked in. To be the outsider and enjoy it.
Times like these make me wonder why I hold on to the past so much. Is it because it defines so much of what I am or is it because I am afraid of what will happen if I let go?