I lost my dad two weeks to the day today. The past two weeks have flown past. I have no recollection of anything specific I did. It hits me at the oddest of times that I will never see my father again.. ever. I think of all the things I associate with him. His lopsided grin, his mute anger, his unflagging patience and above all his ‘I-can-do-it’ attitude. For one who has not had a great academic past, he did very well in anything he took it upon himself to do. He was very handy around the house.
All through my growing years I remembered him as ‘more’ giving of the two between him and my mom. He would always let my mom make decisions and give her a free hand with the running of the house or control of us kids. In a way that made me believe that the world was an equal place. My father has undoubtedly been a very huge influence on the kind of person I am today.
My mind searches for things to hold on to, memories, last words.. strangely its a strange silent world inside me now.
Appa I love you and I miss you more than you will ever know.